not all men
are as addicted to carpet as i am. i rub different textures of carpet all over my body. i smell the fresh new carpet smell and feel myself get excited. i work day and night to collect different types of carpet from wherever i am. i sleep with a carpet pillow i have made by hand. i wrap myself in a cocoon of carpet and feel myself merge into the fabric, becoming one…
i am way too tired for this
wanna buy some drugs
THIS MADE ME STOP MID-YAWN TO LAUGH I AM BOTH PISSED AND AMUSED
Tony. Jaime. Vic. Mike.
i throw my hands up in the air sometimes singing ayooo loki’s not an avenger
Lana Del Rey withholding Tropico
a relationship is like a house
if a lightbulb goes out, you don’t buy a new house, you just change the lightbulb.
unless that house is a lying whore
then you burn the fucker to the ground and buy a better house with lights that you can fucking count on.
my proudest moment was when i was like 4 and I was being babysat by our family friend’s son who was visiting and he saw me drawing randall from monsters inc and he was like oh can i have this i’ll hang it in my office! and i was like okay and then when my dad picked me up he told me that the guy (his name was larry) was an animator on the movie and 4 year old me cried
i have an alarm app on my laptop that has an option to take a photo of you when the alarm goes off so i decided to use it. most of the photos look like these
and then theres the time i was i possessed